Dear Diary

Time flies when you're having fun...but it sure drags when you miss the people you love!

 

 It's been nearly a week now since they left...since I last saw their faces...heard their voices...since they left me behind...Nearly a week since I waved them goodbye, said our farewells, gave them one last embrace...

 

 Those of you who know me, know that my family is everything to me! It's been almost a week since 6 members of my family departed on a journey to the holy cities of Makkah and Madinah. My parents, 3 sisters and my nephew; who is like a son to me and big brother to my children. Unable to join them, I stayed behind...with my nuclear family...not quite alone; but yet still feeling slightly lonely.

 

There have been many times that I have been away on holiday; that they have gone on holiday...but I have never been left behind alone. I have never before felt the emptiness of having no one here...no one near. No one to call. Nothing but an empty home to visit.

 

I know many families live in the same country without speaking or seeing each other on a regular basis, but we are not like that. I speak to my mom and sisters several times a day...my nephew is permanently in my home...my Dad a constant cheerful fixture. It is one thing being in a different country without all things familiar...it is quite different being home without the familiar voices and presence of all those that you love and hold dear. This separation...is a little bit hard.

 

In the meantime I am filling my day with pleasantries with the kids in the hopes that it will dull out the little hollow in my heart...that it will help make the time move a little faster...that it will occupy my mind with thoughts other than the incessant wondering of what they are up to without me. I am trying, but the truth is that we are all watching our phones, waiting for a little message, a flashing light...a little voice from 'home'. Even the kids... and little Zaydaan that came to my bed early this morning to ask when Agu is coming home!

I wonder if they wonder about me too...the six of them all together...me home alone. Writing this I hardly sound like a mature adult, mother of three. I suppose I am writing as a daughter and sister then. As a woman whose best friends are all in one place...a place that is a little bit further than she likes.

I miss my daily chats, constant messaging, random visits, spontaneous outings, jokes and laughter...even mom's scolding!!! I miss you all so very much and like a big, grown kid, I am counting down the days till you return!

Love,

 

NAMU :)