Late Night Ramblings

This past week hasn't gone my way at all!! I'm convinced that Trouble is stalking me....that it is lurking in corners, following, watching, waiting for the right moment to pounce. I am sure he is sneering, feeling content at the stir he has caused. And he has pounced a few times. On somewhat uncommon playgrounds to our regular encounters and caught me slightly off guard.

 

Now, I'm not usually one to fight back. I just roll back my eyes and let the words flow in my head...But I must admit, this week, I have found it difficult to silence my mind. The problem is, that people get away with saying just about anything. They don't pause to ponder their words or worry about it's impact...but blurt out falsities at the speed of a runaway train!! And often believe it to be true too.

 

Normally, I just leave things and walk away...and it is easy to do that when the person is a stranger or someone you rarely see. But how many times can you walk away from the same person when they are so far from right?? After a time it really starts to gnaw at you. Like your emotions are being pushed to the limit and quite frankly, it hurts you know!

 

There has to be a reason for this test...surely there is a message, something to be learnt. And I have started asking myself, if staying quiet hasn't perhaps caused things to get this far. If my silence has been the cause of broken boundaries and overstepped barriers. If my silence has escalated the war?

 

I don't like this unsettling feeling. I won't feel at peace until I find resolve. But at this point in time I feel like I've been pushed up against a wall and I am being choked! I would rather walk away from an argument than get stuck in trying to prove I am right. But there comes a point where it's not about fighting to be right.... but fighting FOR what's right! I have not decided how I'm going to settle this...For now I just know that this cannot carry on! 

 

Thanks for reading!

 

Peace,

 

NAMU :)