Life and Times of the Fireflies: A Message to my daughter on her 14th Birthday

When you're a young mother expecting your first child, the 9 long months is filled with a lot of wondering. Wondering whether it's a boy or girl. Wondering if they are healthy. Wondering what kind of personality they will have. Wondering if they will be an easy baby and if you will be prepared enough for the task at hand. Wondering what type of parents we will be and what lies ahead in their destiny. Wondering about childbirth and who they will look like and what they will inherit from me. In fact, at each monthly scan we try and spot the similarities...my long toes and Dad's sharp nose...we want to see a likeness to ourselves.

When you were younger, I always thought you resembled more your father than you did me. You have his pointy nose; his long, thin legs and athletic physique, and you even have his crooked little baby fingers on both hands! Save your eyes and smallish forehead which I think you get from me :-) You are no doubt a Daddy's Girl...the apple of his eye and the Princess of his heart...but as you are starting to blossom and grow, as we've broken down the walls and barriers between us, as you have started to open up more and I've started to pay more attention, I have started to see all the parts of me in you that I never got to see before.

I get to hear your thoughts and the way you view the world. I get to listen to your opinions on things like war and humanity. I get to have discussions about faith and religion. I get to understand you better when you let me listen to the lyrics of your favourite songs. I get to delve a bit deeper into your understanding of life when I'm too frustrated to see the understanding in situations myself. I get to see beneath the tough outer shell that you keep up as a shield; I get to see your softness, the kindness and generosity in you in the way you treat others, the way you make friends with ease, the way you embrace all kinds of people. I get to read your poems and listen to the ideas for your essays, the way you interpret literature and your hopes and dreams for the future... and the more I hear, see and discover; the more I realise that though you look like your father on the outside, the person on the inside most definitely resembles me!

But even though you are a lot like me, you are also a lot stronger than me. You are kind and gentle, without allowing yourself to be vulnerable. You are soft and nurturing, but you don't allow people to take advantage of you. You give of your heart, but you don't wear your heart on your sleeve. You like to be loved, but you also know how to stand on your own two feet. You like the idea of romance, but you also have goals and dreams of your own. You know your worth and don't need anyone (except your nearest) to validate you. You are a strong willed girl, and though I don't tell you often enough; I am extremely proud of who you are!!

I love the closeness you have to your brothers...the special and unique connection you have with Rocky and the way you love and care for Zaydaan unconditionally. I love that, even though you're growing up, you haven't outgrown being my little girl... being tucked in at night...kissed before going to school...or climbing into my bed. I love that you love to wear things from my wardrobe and I even love that it looks better on you. I love it when you can't wait to share something exciting that happened at school or when someone says something that reminds you of me. I love when your lip curls up when you are angry and when daddy diffuses it with a silly joke and turns it into a wry smile. I love that I get to see all these parts of you. That I get to watch you grow and discover who you are!

I used to be afraid and worry that you will be swallowed up by this world. But today I am proud because I have raised the type of human the world needs more of...